Burnout in Teenagers: Why Are Teens So Stressed?
I don’t know about you, but I could not be paid enough to go back to high school. (Although that might change soon considering recent inflation.) And, as tough as it was for me, middle- and high-schoolers today are facing challenges that I can hardly imagine coping with at their age.
I hear first-hand about the stressors they face – school shooter drills, online bullying, and unvetted access to negative news stories that increase fears and anxiety symptoms. When you combine these new worries with the “normal” stresses of adolescence, such as homework, extracurriculars, part-time jobs, and applying for colleges or training programs, it is a recipe for burnout.
Keep reading to learn about how to recognize and cope with burnout in teens, including how to identify when burnout is a symptoms of something more serious.
Teen Stress
Like adults, teens can experience and suffer from burnout. In fact, teens appear to be similarly or even more stressed out than their adult counterparts (during the school year at least). Wow. This says a lot considering the degree of stress many adults are living with right now.
And, also like adults, teens are suffering from staggering degrees of anxiety and depression. In fact, I worry that teens with anxiety and depression are going undiagnosed because the adults in their lives (who also deserve support) are so used to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression, that they don’t even notice the symptoms in their youth.
Is It Really That Hard To Be A Teenager These Days?
On one hand, it can be easy to think that tens “have it easy” these days. On one hand, they have access to information and opportunities at their fingertips that their parents and grandparents would have killed to have! But, with this increased access to opportunity (e.g., the internet) comes increased access to responsibility. Responsibilities that adolescents are simply not yet equipped to deal with. As a result, teens are experiencing burnout and the negative effect it has on not only them, but their loved ones as well.
It is up to the adults in their lives to learn how to identify signs of burnout in teens so that we can provide support. And the first step is to learn more about signs and symptoms to look for.
What Is Burnout?
Burnout happens when a person is in a state of chronic stress. It can be characterized by a lack of motivation, disinterest, irritability, and cynicism. Burnout can contribute to anxiety and depression. Burnout is more likely to occur when stress is chronic, not within one’s control, or doesn’t have a defined or manageable end point.
Signs of Burnout in Teens
Depression
Anxiety
School refusal
Loss of interest or motivation
Pessimistic attitude
Feelings of overwhelm
Doing the least
Sleep problems
This is not an exhaustive list and symptoms can overlap with clinical disorders, such as major depressive disorder or generalized anxiety disorder. If symptoms occur with significant changes in mood or personality or occur alongside self-harming thoughts or behaviors, reach immediately to a professional for guidance.
Is It a Phase?
Stress is a normal part of life. Most stress comes and goes and is manageable. When stress is chronic, however, it can lead to burnout. Stress can improve on its own depending on the cause, but burnout will not get better without intervention or support.
Understanding Burnout Better
As a licensed clinical psychologist for teenagers, I often explain burnout to my clients using this analogy. Imagine you have a bucket of water and the water symbolizes all of your stressors in life (homework deadlines, college applications, fights with your parents, etc.). If you continue to add to the bucket without removing anything, then over time the bucket fills to the brim and overflows. Leaving you scrambling to stop the mess and eventually giving up (burnout)… unless you find a way to manage it. There are two primary ways we manage stress and relieve burnout. The first is by putting less water (stress) in the bucket (decreasing demands or stressors). The second is by systematically removing of some of the water (stress) already in the bucket (learning and utilizing coping skills).
Adults have had more time and experience to learn how to manage their stress buckets. They have already learned some strategies to decrease stress through things like setting work-life boundaries.. They have also learned how to relieve the effects of stress through social and emotional coping skills developed over years of lived experiences. Adolescents, however, have not yet had the time or experience to learn such strategies, making them especially vulnerable to burnout.
Adults can help adolescents with burnout by teaching them to recognize and manage the stress in their lives in several ways.
4 Ways to Help Your Teen Cope with Burnout
Talk to them. Give your teen opportunity to talk about their stressors. The best way to do this is by letting them know that you are available. Express to them that you are there to listen, not to judge or give advice, unless requested. Ask open-ended questions and don’t pressure them to talk if they are not ready. Here are my teen-psychologist-approved tips for connecting with teens.
Check in with your child’s guidance/school counselor. Counselor’s at school can help to fill you in on what the climate at school might be like or if they sense your child is overwhelmed or taking on too much. You can also suggest that your child make an appointment to speak with their school counselor. They may feel more comfortable talking about their stress with someone other than their parent/guardian.
Create opportunities for stress-relief. Model coping skills by creating opportunities for members of the family to engage in stress relieving activities and recharge their batteries. This looks different for everyone. It might be taking a family walk (no phones), watching a movie together or having family-game night (again, no phones), signing them up for a fun teen’s event in the community, or having them invite a friend over for dinner..
Therapy for depression, anxiety, and signs of burnout. If your teen is struggling with signs of anxiety or depression, then therapy might be the right choice. Not all teens feel comfortable talking about their stress with their family and if they are experiencing significant distress or impairment in their lives, then they need an evaluation with a licensed therapist or clinical psychologist. Therapy for teens can help with learning healthy coping strategies, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, building stress management techniques, self-esteem, and learning how to set boundaries to prevent burnout as an adult. Need guidance on choosing a therapist? Check out my 8 Key Tips for Choosing a Therapist here.
If you are wondering how your already stretched-too-thin teen could possible fit in regular therapy appointments, then virtual therapy might be the right fit for you. As a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, I offer traditional evidence-based therapy modalities adapted for the virtual setting. Learn more about online therapy for teens here.
And, as always, feel free to contact me directly with any questions you have.
-Dr. Alli
