Is It Laziness or Something Else? Signs of Depression in Teenagers
Teens aren’t exactly known for their intrinsic motivation to complete chores, homework, or keep their rooms clean, and they are often described as “lazy”. Laziness can be a perfectly normal phase, or it can be a key sign pointing toward depression for your adolescent. Read the article to learn more about when laziness goes from a normal annoyance to a sign of clinical depression in teens.
What Is “Laziness”?
First, let me say that I do not like the term “lazy”. As a clinical psychologist, I do not find it to be very useful in describing behavior. If someone is being “lazy”, i.e., lacking motivation to get started or finish tasks, there is usually an underlying reason. It is far more helpful to figure out what is causing the person to struggle than it is to label them as lazy.
Further, our culture tends to be “Go, go, go!” all the time. We rarely build in time for rest, which is extremely important for our mental and physical health. One person’s laziness is another person’s rest, and judging either person is not going to solve anyone’s problems.
That being said… we all have lazy times. Days when we put off work to watch Netflix or choose to stay on the couch with a good book rather than finish the dishes and the laundry. It is completely normal to have moments or days like this. But, sometimes laziness turns into more. It starts lasting days or even weeks at a time and is accompanied by difficulty focusing, irritability or sadness, change in personality, or repercussions at school or work.
When Laziness is Actually Depression
If your teen’s “lazy” behaviors are causing them problems, such as tension in their relationships, truancy at school or work, worsening grades at school, or if you notice they are opting to stay home on their phone rather then engage with their peers or previously enjoyed activities, they may be struggling with depression.
Symptoms of Depression In Teenagers
Depression in teenagers can look like the prototypical sad mood, but it is also likely to look like irritability, mood swings, and “laziness”.
Key symptoms of depression in teenagers include:
Diminished interest or pleasure in previously enjoyed activities
Lack of motivation, or difficulty starting or finishing tasks, such as homework
Feeling hopeless, as if “there is no point” in doing things that used to be important to them
Sleep and/or appetite changes
Changes in personality, general mood, or behavior
Low self-esteem
Irritability, anger, anxiety, and/or mood swings
Withdrawing from friends and family and spending more time alone
Difficulties concentration or focusing
Comments about death or dying
(If your child makes comments about wanting to hurt themselves or others take them seriously, and seek support immediately.) Here are some resources on youth suicide prevention.
Getting Help
It is easy to see how many of the symptoms of depression can be confused with laziness when undiagnosed.
Now that you know this, you can act to get your teen the help they need.
Here are a few tips from a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who specializes in therapy for teenagers.
What To Do If You Suspect Your Teenager is Depressed
Talk to them. Let them know that you’ve noticed that they seem less happy lately and give them a no pressure opportunity to talk about what they are experiencing.
Ask them to complete a depression screener. Validated depression screeners like this one linked here can help you determine if your child is experiencing symptoms of depression. It is a starting point, but should NOT replace the assessment of a qualified professional.
Consider starting therapy for depression. If you child is experiencing mild-severe symptoms of depression, they will likely benefit from evidence-based talk therapy (e.g., cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, etc.) with a licensed provider who specializes in working with adolescents. See my previous articles on How To Choose A Therapist and the Benefits of Online Therapy for Teenagers.
You can also consider contacting your teenager’s pediatrician or primary care provider about medication options for treating depression.
As always, you are welcome to reach out with any questions you have. I am happy to help you find the right solution for your teenager and family.
-Dr. Alli
